Nakednews.com- Boob-tube





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Welcome everyone to another day with us at Naked News I_m Madison BanesAnd I_m Shannon Blake Thanks for joining us.You know Shannon, I am so crazy about Miss Laura Desiree and her wild and wacky ways. What do you think would be the perfect segment for her? Well folks, we are thrilled to share with you a match made in heaven, Laura is bringing back the better-than-ever Boob Tube Here it is You ready to get nuts, Peanut Gallery? Then away we go This will be a multiple choice quiz. In the following now-famous clip from E News, is Jim Carrey:A) Convinced he_s stuck in a real-life version of The Truman Show and trying to boost ratings?B) Practicing for his Intro to Philosophy for Movie Stars exam?, orC) Getting some free publicity for his new cult, the ALMIGHTY THENSThe answer is there is no answer, because there is no question, because there is no Jim Carrey For further information, please consult ALIENS Barring vacancies, there are a hundred senators and 435 representatives. Meaning if someone offers you a cookie to name a Member of Congress, you have OVER FIVE HUNDRED names to choose from But as Jimmy Kimmel proved in a recent segment, that just isn_t enough I don_t know what_s sadder: that no one could come up with a congressperson... or that the old white guy guessed what_s probably his own name and came closest? In a recent game of _Never Have I Ever_ Ellen played with Reese Witherspoon and Pink, the host came across as the biggest Goody Two Shoes of the bunch But to the trained eye, this whole game was just an excuse for Ellen to pull off some classic female manipulation News flash: Channing Tatum_s not a stranger And Ellen_s the one who picks these questions Clearly, Ellen was working in a brag. Because even though she_s a lesbian, when it comes to Channing Tatum, everyone wants to grab hold of that Magic Mike I may not know much about sports, but I know that Monday Night Football is a big deal. I also know diversity is a good thing, but if you_ve got thirty seconds to make an impression, you want to have something more to say than just THAT Unfortunately for Sergio Dipp, he seemed to learn both those lessons the hard way Bless his little heart for trying, but I_m sorry. Much as I_ll miss having something to spice up my crudites, my football watching from now on will be DIPP-free... On second thought, I think I_ll just continue NOT watching football And speaking of NOT watching things, it_s time for my Peanut Gallery to get back to work Putting the boobs in your tube, I_m Laura Desiree.
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Nakednews.com- Sports





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Hello everyone Laura Desiree here, welcoming you to the start of a fresh week of Naked NewsWe_re kicking things off with a weekend recap of naked Sports, including the NFL playoffs Tia and Eila are ready to tell you about the Miracle in Minneapolis Thanks Laura Sunday_s divisional round matchups were both EPIC But we have to start in MinnesotaThe Vikings and Saints gave us a finish we_ll never forgetAfter trailing 17-nothing, the Saints came all the way back in the 4th with a late touchdown from Drew Brees to rookie Alvin Kamara But the Vikings didn_t roll over With a minute-thirty to go, kicker Kai Forbath came through with a 53-yarder to reclaim the lead90 seconds on the clock meant Drew Brees still had time to work some magic - and he did just that Brees drove the Saints back down the field, setting up Will Lutz from 43-yards...Game over right? It sure LOOKED that way. With ten seconds left and NO timeouts, Minnesota QB Case Keenum lobbed up a final prayer.And THAT, my friends, is the story of the Miracle in Minneapolis I still can_t believe it The curse is over Vikings fansIf they win at Philadelphia next week they_ll get to do something no one_s EVER DONE: play in their home stadium for the Super Bowl Now let_s check in on Sunday_s AFC action...If that crazy finish in Minnesota hadn_t happened, Jacksonville-Pittsburgh would have been the game everyone was talking about We all thought the Steelers would dominate the Jaguars at Heinz Field, but in the first half it was the other way around That play stunned the home crowd, but the Steelers got things together after halftime Trailing 35-21 in the fourth quarter, Ben Roethlisberger found Antonio Brown Great grab, but that was about as close as Pittsburgh would get They lost a shocker at home to Jacksonville, 45-42That means it_ll be Blake Bortles against Tom Brady next week in New England The Jags were big underdogs at Pittsburgh, and NO ONE will give them a chance at Foxboro. That_s probably just the way they like it To golf now, and if you noticed something funky about the coverage of Sunday_s Sony Open in Hawaii, it wasn_t just your imagination The Golf Channel_s broadcast of the final round was disrupted when its audio and video workers went on strike A labor dispute has been brewing there for some time now.We have to give credit to the Golf Channel producers though Despite a lack of close-up shots, on-course reporting, and the sounds of players talking to caddies, most of the telecast went off without a hitch And by the way, Patton Kizzire (kiz-EYE-ur, rhymes with desire) won the tournament after SIX playoff holesThings weren_t so smooth for Dennis Rodman this weekend The basketball hall of famer was arrested and charged with DUI in California Saturday night. Newport Beach police pulled Rodman over for a traffic violation, and then he failed a breathalyser test. Dennis spent the night in jail and was released Sunday morning. His struggles with alcohol are no secret. He spent time in a rehab facility in 2014. We_re just hoping he gets the help he needs.At 56 he_s still a bad boy, and he might be our only hope of achieving peace with North KoreaNow THAT_s a scary thought That_ll do it for this edition of Naked Sports See you next time
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Nakednews.com- News off the Top





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Despite its Hawaii-adjacent location, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is a bad place to visit and you wouldn_t want to live there... but there is PLENTY of room According to a new study, the floating island of plastic debris is up to 88 THOUSAND TONS and an area of over SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND MILES That_s like FOUR CALIFORNIAS As if that wasn_t scary enough for anyone thinking of cleaning it up, here_s one more horrifying stat for you: it_s composed of one-point-eight TRILLION pieces of plasticThe city of San Francisco is on its way to becoming a fur-free zone While you may still see people wearing them on the street, San Fran is the first major U.S. city to ban the sale of fur The new regulations will take effect on January 1st. Retailers will have until 2020 to get rid of their current inventories and the ban won_t affect secondhand goods. Still, every material banned is a step closer to our naked utopiaThere_s one less way to find love today: Craigslist is getting rid of its personals section This follows the passing of a bill which makes websites liable if they help facilitate prostitution or sex trafficking Craigslist put out a statement saying they don_t want to jeopardize their other services, so they_re regretfully taking the personals section offline. That_s all for now, back to you, Eila.
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Nakednews.com- Entertainment





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Hey, everyone, it_s Throwback Thursday, so throw back a drink and prepare yourselves for NAKED NEWS Celebrity breakups are always so hard on me, I don_t know why but I_m always so disappointed when my favorite stars can_t work things out. So it saddens me to report that ANOTHER celebrity couple has decided to call it quits. Shannon has that story and more for us right now in Entertainment. Don_t feel TOO bad Eila, Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan had a good run. The sexy Hollywood couple are separating after about nine years of marriage. In dual Instagram posts, they said, and I quote, lovingly chosen to separate as a couple, two best-friends realizing it_s time to take some space. Which is of course what we_d expect them to say, but the tabloids all seem to agree they just drifted apart. The upside here gentlemen, Jenna Dewan is single Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are at the other end of the split celebrities spectrum, but it looks like they_re FINALLY going to get some closure. According to reports, Brangelina is in truce mode and will settle their divorce within weeks. Obviously, it helps that they_re both swimming in money, but the big breakthrough is Angelina is now willing to give Brad access to their kids. Which is good, because if she didn_t, that_d be the PITTS The Just for Laughs festival, held every summer in Montreal, is the biggest comedy festival in the world. And it was just purchased by one of the biggest COMEDIANS in the world, Howie Mandel. He was part of of an investors group who acquired it. It went on sale last fall after its founder was accused of sexual misconduct. According to Variety, the deal was in the mid-eight-figure range... so I guess it was Just for Laughs AND Money According to reports, two Smallville actresses, Kristin Kreuk and Allison Mack got sucked into a sex-slave cult called NXIVM. And they apparently used their celebrity status to become sex-slave recruiters for leader Keith Raniere He was recently arrested in Mexico, and while Kreuk has denied any involvement with the criminal side of the organization, Mack can be seen in the video of his arrest. Where_s Superman when you need him? We_ll wrap up Entertainment with a much more pleasant story, one about the unbelievably sexy, Sofia Vergara The Modern Family star just posted a throwback pic to her Instragm of her in the nineties. She meant it as a Throwback Thursday treat to her fans According to the caption, it_s the 90_s Miami, though all we can see is sky and ocean and Sofia, definitely NOT in that order I_m Shannon Blake, and that_s Entertainment
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